I spent most of my life being me and loving it. I had issues with loving my physical appearance but I was always fine with who I was. If I found a flaw in myself it was the same as seeing a corner of my beloved Duel of Fates poster unstuck from the wall. I would still love the poster obviously. I just needed to fix the problem: stick it back to the wall. Now I clearly didn't love myself all the time like I did with the poster. Growing up as a middle child in a strict Indian family where everyone was constantly so tense and insecure, I went through my fair share of feeling like a freak at times. However, I can't trace a single negative as sprouted from my own thoughts. The were always planted there but grew only after being put into my mind so many times. Being naturally clumsy, energetic, and full of laughter, I seemed to be the easiest to hate on in my family. So what exactly did they put in my mind? Useless, clumsy, stupid, idiot, slow, freak, retarded, big nose, different, too skinny, gross, whiner, and the reason for all the problems in the house. Despite all of these negative ideas about myself, there was always something I would have to love about myself. I was so naturally entranced by books, dragons, magic, star wars, outer space, and adventure. If everything else failed to make me like myself, my interest in these things made me love myself. It made me feel like a bad ass I suppose and eventually it led to the creation of my own world, Aindravon*. It was a place where my ideas existed and grew. No older sister calling me stupid and a freak. No spoiled younger brother being as rude and annoying as he wanted because he was better than me. No parents yelling and fighting verbally and physically with each other. No dad telling me how useless and dumb I am especially next to my siblings. No mom to constantly criticize every idea I came up with and come up with the phrase "you're almost as bad as keethu today!". Aindravon was my place to consider things like how I came to exist (not talking about the process of being born but the soul and the existence of a universe and the physical world somehow holding living things.), different dimensions (though I wasn't even in school yet to know it was called a dimension), unique creatures of higher intelligence or the ability of an unknown sense, multiple genders (again, not even in school.), and a lot of other things. I learned to create joy during those long car rides where I endured incessant criticism by looking out as far as possible and imagining a dragon so enormous that it's feet would be on that horizon line but it could bend its head down and reach me. The awe from the mental image of such a magnificent creature would make me feel a special excitement and happiness that felt unique. I loved my mind. This was how I lived until I moved to Texas. 

it's 4 am and i'm getting sleep.... To be continued... lol ^^ <3

Advance Apologies(skip if you don't really give a damn): Okay, so this is something that I randomly thought of and it was for the purpose of bored entertainment and not for the purpose of hating. Yeah, I do hate the twilight series BUT to my lovely twihard friends (err I think that's what y'all call yourselves even though that makes the series sound more like porn... unless I got the term wrong.) this is not meant to be offensive. It's more of a joke but if it offends you or my bad language offends you or you're a grammar nazi and my abominable grammar offends you, *cough*too fucking bad, bitches*cough* I am sincerely sorry. ^^

Anyways, said random thought was "where the fuck did an idiot like Stephanie Meyer come up with this crazy 'sexy' vampire and werewolf fantasy that got so many girls so hooked?" Well, as a girl, I am more likely to figure out this phenomenon sooner than all those poor guys out there still mind-fucked by this psychotic-ness. And today my dear friends, it hit me (not like that you sick bastard).
As a girl who appreciates good literature, despises being a clingy whore (...like bella.though I tend to do the opposite which about equally scares off guys), and uhm well I forgot my third point.... I got distracted by my shiny C-3PO sticker. Anyways, since I like good literature, I was rereading The Lord of The Ring series and I was geeking out about it to myself when I came across something Twilight related online. My first thought: "If you're gonna be into older men with good looks and good stalking skills, though I don't know why you'd want the latter, I'd go for Aragorn or.... LEGOLAS!" My point? As we all know, there was a justified obsession with Legolas for many females (or gay men but I guess if I'm pointing out gay men I should've said 'straight females'. Gosh I do digress. My sincere apologies to my imaginary audience) but since Legolas never showed any real interest in women, or men I guess, it was never as full-blown as this Edward fettish.
So two quick things to cover before I start getting confused and/or angry people worked up. One, why Legolas and not Aragorn?: Because next to Liv Tyler, most of us are ugly bitches ...who can't even fathom pretending to be her (haha funny... laugh? err jk? please? oh god if you're gonna beat me to death with a book let me die with a little dignity by beating me with a REAL book). Actually it's just cause I could find more comparisons between Legolas and Edward. Second, it may seem abominable that I would compare the work of Tolkien and one of the most epic characters to the work of Meyer and well, Edward ('nuff said). However, if you will be patient then all will be cleared. Uhm, or so I hope? (cue to reader to be all like "I'm bored, gtfo" or if you're an average guy, "tits or gtfo").

Initially, it started as comparison between just Legolas and Edward so that is where I will start. Most of these comparisons are similar but not the same because then it wouldn't be Meyer's original creative work (aka fucking over coolness with unimaginable stupidity. now remember underlined sentence previous to this one after every comparison). Okay so... elves are all glowy skinned in sunlight (well in the movies) and vampires are sparkly... degradation #1.
#2, Edward is shit, ok that wasn't really one of my points, I was just making a (really bad and totally not funny) poop joke. Yes, I'm 19, single, living at home with no job, and am a compsci major (the comp sci major is to explain the bad grammar. If I was gonna name a major to justify the immature joke I would've said liberal arts... or maybe it's just me). No, but seriously, my second point is that they're both immortal kinda leading the idea of immortal/undying love. However, elves are wise, pure, and don't mingle with dumb bitches.
#3 This one is actually kinda a better move. Now who doesn't like a lot of attention? Exactly. So let's get a rival who has a thing for Bella. Well for elves it would mean a dwarf, yeeeah... no. Yeah I hate the whole "team Edward/Jacob" thing but that doesn't mean I'll say no to Taylor Lautner shirtless. Oh dear lord put your clothes back  on Gimli! *gouges eyes out* I think I've made my point.
#4 Silent, stealthy, and good at tracking = ninja skills. Well, tracking in the case of Legolas and pedo-stalker when referring to Edward. Now the only kinda explanation to why this is attractive that I could think of is the idea that Edward is always there for Bella who is stupid and tends to get caught in situations like about to get run over, about to get raped, or about to get her blood sucked out by "evil" vampires. I can't believe I had to put quotations around evil when referring to vampires. What is this world coming to?! But seriously, I think that I prefer my personal space. If I really wanted a guy to always be there for me when I'm in danger, assuming I'm an idiot who ends up dangerous situations all the time even though I live with a cop (I'm talking about Bella's dad for those of you who haven't read the book), I'd rather just, I don't know, call him? or if we decide to go all LotR I could carry around a horn like Boromir or something... k, not really.
#5 Finally, why the multiplied attraction to Twilight's Edward character over Legolas? Well honestly, it's probably because of the time period and elves in modern time are 1.)not on earth but if they were then 2.)would not be wasting their time with humans when we have people who talk omg lyk dis ppl and people who would probably interrupt  a historical elvish song with "that's too long, not listening" and "FAKE! it's just a conspiracy" also/and/or 3.) elves have a pretty good record them of being cool and no one wants to kill them whereas vampires have already been made less scary. Ex: sesame streets' The Count or at least that's what I think he's called, Count Chocula from that cereal that I'm not really sure still exists, and let's not forget the numerous "die bi...vampire die!" shows and movies. How does that make vampires more attractive? Well it makes it easier to redefine them as possibly harmless and loving while still giving Edward a dark past (aka strong and sensitive). And it gives  the only (somewhat but not really original) plausible sort of tensioning plot: "good" vampires vs evil vampires... wow just saying that makes me wanna burn something... a book... a twilight book, not to be too specific of course.

Right, so I'm done (so says I to my imaginary audience who read the whole way through). That wasn't meant to be complete bashing on the Twilight series. I actually have a lot more to say on that particular topic and it's probably a bit harsher than most of the stuff said here. Also, it's late, my mother keeps popping in here and getting on my nerves so I apologize if it got progressively worse since I became progressively more irritated and distracted. There are probably a lot of grammatical and spelling errors. And, a lot of left out or incomplete words and thoughts. If I missed any other correlation, put words to it. If I totally confused you on one of my points, point it out because I'm not lazy and I will totally go back and fix it *sarcasm*.